Away We Go......: Concerning perfectionism. And various recent events.

I spent a little while the other day reading all of my previous blog entries. It's a wonder I had that much free time on my hands... or any free time, for that matter... but honestly, I was not super pleased. I mean, there was a lot of good information, but a lot of it felt rather... well... impersonal. That's the best word I could come up with to describe my writing. Impersonal. And that bothers me. I've always been a bit of a perfectionist. Okay, not just a bit. Like, sometimes it scares me how much of a perfectionist I am. And other people notice, and they can see that it's irrational, and I know that it's irrational, but that doesn't necessarily change anything. I'm still a perfectionist. I don't mean to be too hard on myself... honestly, I have come a looong way over the years regarding my perfectionism. I am leaps and bounds beyond where I used to be. I am at the point right now where I can make or do something that isn't completely perfect and still get some satisfaction out of having completed it. But it certainly isn't easy. I have a long way to go. Often, even when I begin a project swearing up and down that I am going to do it the easy way this time and only spend an hour on it, because that is how long it should reasonably take a person to complete, I still find myself shaking my head three and a half hours later after finally having finished it, thinking to myself, "How in the world did that take me so long? Why did it have to be done so thoroughly? Did it have to be done so thoroughly? I wonder how long it took so-and-so to do this very same project... probably only half the time it took me. Maybe less. What the hell is wrong with me that I can't be more like everyone else and just not care so much?" Guys, these are self-defeating thoughts. They are incredibly unhealthy. I recognize that. But, you know, they happen. It's a work-in-progress.

The positive thing about my perfectionism? When that project gets done, it is magnificent. It is impressive. It is thorough. It is truly glorious to behold. But unfortunately, the end does not usually justify the means.

Anyway, enough rambling... back to my original point. My writing. You see, in my opinion, writing should not be perfect. It is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be real. And that's what I want this blog to be. Real. So, although it's pretty uncomfortable for me, I'm going to make an honest effort to make my writing less perfect and more real. And although no one but yours truly reads this blog at the moment, eventually, others will. So let's get some personality up in here, shall we?

So... on a completely unrelated note... Valentine's Day happened last week. And it was magnificent. That whole week was, actually. My husband spoiled me to death. I don't care what anyone says about Valentine's day. People go on and on about how it's "too cliche" or how it's "not Valentine's Day, it's Single Awareness Day" blah blah blah.... yeah.... no. It's a day to celebrate love. Any kind of love. And I really, really like it.