Away We Go......: 2013

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Introducing...

LIAM GRAYSON BRADY.

I am already so in love with him.

Profile 16 weeks

Profile 20 weeks

I have finally started feeling little Liam's movements and kicks on a regular basis, and I absolutely love it :) it is one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. Sometimes Chase and I will poke him and wait for him to poke back, and it makes me so much more excited to meet him and see what his little personality is like! If you would have asked me at any point in my life up until the day I found out about Liam whether I would ever consider being a mother as a newlywed 22-year-old, I would have emphatically replied, "NO WAY!" Having my own sweet little children with Chase was certainly a part of my plan, but a part that I always imagined and planned on happening a few years down the road. I had other plans in mind for my first couple of years as a married woman. And I took the birth control route in order to ensure that these plans could come to pass when I wanted them to. But this little guy wanted to be here! And so here he is! And you know what? I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER! The more I go through life, the more I realize that it isn't about making plans and having them go exactly the way we want them to. It is about enjoying the ride. We are just human beings. We don't always have the perspective to know what is best for us. But there is one who does! And that is God! And whether I feel prepared to be a mother or not, God will prepare me because this is part of his plan for me. And I am so grateful. What a huge blessing! And what a cute kid!

In other baby news, my body is changing rapidly:

Momma 23 weeks

I thought I would wear make-up more often after I cut all my hair off...

This is clearly not the case.

In fear & faith.

"Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth." -Anonymous

Guys, I have been really fearful, uncertain, and uncomfortable lately. So I suppose I'm growing :)

I'll be honest, I've had a pretty rough go of it the past couple of months. I have not felt quite like myself. I have made some decisions that were not incredibly healthy for me emotionally. But I was sitting in church last week with my husband and my group home girls, with nothing out of the ordinary being said or done at all, just a typical testimony meeting... and it suddenly hit me. All of these issues that I have been dealing with have one common factor: FEAR. And all of those decisions that I wished I would have made differently? Those were all made from a position of fear. A fearful person made those decisions, which is why the result was... less than ideal.

But the thing about fear is, it can be overcome. And there's only one way to do it: Replacing the fear with FAITH. That is such a beautiful word. Faith. It is powerful, it is hopeful, and it is the exact opposite of fear. So, obviously, it's something that I need a lot more of in my life right now! I am choosing to today to replace my fear with faith!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Concerning perfectionism. And various recent events.

I spent a little while the other day reading all of my previous blog entries. It's a wonder I had that much free time on my hands... or any free time, for that matter... but honestly, I was not super pleased. I mean, there was a lot of good information, but a lot of it felt rather... well... impersonal. That's the best word I could come up with to describe my writing. Impersonal. And that bothers me. I've always been a bit of a perfectionist. Okay, not just a bit. Like, sometimes it scares me how much of a perfectionist I am. And other people notice, and they can see that it's irrational, and I know that it's irrational, but that doesn't necessarily change anything. I'm still a perfectionist. I don't mean to be too hard on myself... honestly, I have come a looong way over the years regarding my perfectionism. I am leaps and bounds beyond where I used to be. I am at the point right now where I can make or do something that isn't completely perfect and still get some satisfaction out of having completed it. But it certainly isn't easy. I have a long way to go. Often, even when I begin a project swearing up and down that I am going to do it the easy way this time and only spend an hour on it, because that is how long it should reasonably take a person to complete, I still find myself shaking my head three and a half hours later after finally having finished it, thinking to myself, "How in the world did that take me so long? Why did it have to be done so thoroughly? Did it have to be done so thoroughly? I wonder how long it took so-and-so to do this very same project... probably only half the time it took me. Maybe less. What the hell is wrong with me that I can't be more like everyone else and just not care so much?" Guys, these are self-defeating thoughts. They are incredibly unhealthy. I recognize that. But, you know, they happen. It's a work-in-progress.

The positive thing about my perfectionism? When that project gets done, it is magnificent. It is impressive. It is thorough. It is truly glorious to behold. But unfortunately, the end does not usually justify the means.

Anyway, enough rambling... back to my original point. My writing. You see, in my opinion, writing should not be perfect. It is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be real. And that's what I want this blog to be. Real. So, although it's pretty uncomfortable for me, I'm going to make an honest effort to make my writing less perfect and more real. And although no one but yours truly reads this blog at the moment, eventually, others will. So let's get some personality up in here, shall we?

So... on a completely unrelated note... Valentine's Day happened last week. And it was magnificent. That whole week was, actually. My husband spoiled me to death. I don't care what anyone says about Valentine's day. People go on and on about how it's "too cliche" or how it's "not Valentine's Day, it's Single Awareness Day" blah blah blah.... yeah.... no. It's a day to celebrate love. Any kind of love. And I really, really like it.